My Partner In Crime: Money

This third assignment is about my relationship with money. As in, what is it? Are we madly, passionately in love? Are we pen pals, perfect strangers, strangers on a train, room mates in a psych ward? What?

It is also about investment; both my own and others investment in me and whether or not there is ever any return on that investment.

Of course I am condensing things and if you really want to get an idea of what this entails, you should go to my FB page and check out the Agnes Kowalski Videos I am posting there. But I digress…

One of the biggest insights I had regarding my relationship with money happened in my first post about this whole process, when I realized that I had the exact same relationship with money as I had with my mother, right down to the no relationship at all part.

As of that moment, I decided that I was going make money my partner in crime. The Tom Sawyer to my Huckleberry Finn, the Butch (pun intended) to my Sundance. I even have a new daily ritual to help me find this new groove. Every morning with my first cup of coffee, I throw on Money by The Flying Lizards and dance. In fact, I will be making a youtube of this dressed in a black cocktail dress, fascinator and, if I can talk him into it, some Alan Anderson bling.

I have never had problems getting people to invest in me. My problem was always in acceptance and choosing the wrong investors.

That changed about 12 years ago, I asked myself a lot of the same questions Agnes asked in this segment, and did a 180 in the way I looked at life. I stopped trying to second guess everything and just trusted the universe, to have my back like I did when I started my writing/performing career back in the day. Only I take risks now,  that I would never have taken back then.

I also forced myself to stop being cynical. Occasionally I slip but over all, I am a much more positive person than I was. And I am still blessed with people believing in me, in fact there is no one in my life, not even casual acquaintances that don’t believe I will have a career writing and performing. They even believe that if I wanted to throw myself fully into my day job, which is cooking in an Italian grocery store, I could make a huge career in food, either a cooking show, a restaurant, or a line of products.

Now, I need to invest in me, as heavily as everyone else does.

I’m not afraid of failure. I’m afraid of running out of time and sometimes that is paralyzing. But I am moving forward slowly but surely.

#subconscioussmackdown #p2p #moneymindset #aggiek#abundancearmy